I was working with a male client recently who reminded me of the frustration which some men have with their female partners. As a woman you may have always wanted to know what men want women to hear. In my experience as a relationship coach and wife, here are the top 6 things which men would love to tell you and which will transform your relationship:
1. I’m not your best girlfriend so don’t treat me like I am
Probably the biggest mistake which women make is expecting their man to interact and respond like a best girlfriend. Instead of expecting your man to tune in to your feelings as well as your girlfriends do, celebrate his ability to separate emotions from reason and to remain strong during emotional challenges.
2. I love you just the way you are
Most men are not looking for physical perfection and don’t care whether your bum looks big or if there is cellulite on your legs.
3. Let me look after you
Men are programmed with a strong need to protect their loved ones and an independent woman who wants to do everything for herself is a serious turn-off.
4. Lighten up and see the funny side of things
Men deal with stress by making a joke about the situation and not taking things too seriously since this would make them feel more stressed. Women like to deal with stress by talking about it and sometimes making the problem more serious than it is.
5. Don’t beat around the bush, tell me exactly what you want
One of the biggest sources of frustration for men is how women communicate. Women are intuitive with each other, often mind-reading and guessing what each other is thinking and feeling. Problems arise when women expect the men in their lives to guess what they are thinking and feeling since men have not developed these communication skills. When a man is committed in a relationship, he is keen to please his partner as much as he can so if you tell him directly what you want , he will, within reason, do what you ask him.
6. Give me some “me time”
While women will wind down with a glass of wine and a chat with a girlfriend, men relax more in their own company, watching sport, reading the paper or fixing something. When you give your man space he will come back to the relationship revived and more appreciative of you.