Relationship chemistry is the ingredient which is easiest to identify at the beginning of a relationship since you will either feel it or not feel it. You may not feel instant, “I want to tear their clothes off” chemistry after only one or two dates, you can simply have a feeling of, “I want to see this person again.” Chemistry in relationships can also build, women especially can feel more chemistry as they get to know and like their partner. If you don’t feel chemistry after 8-10 dates my prediction would usually be that you are not going to feel it later in the relationship. If, in the early stages of a relationship, your partner’s kisses leave you feeling flat rather than elated and if kissing is not instantly making you want to take things further, then it’s a fair prediction that chemistry isn’t there and never will be.
Signs that you have chemistry:
- You find each other very, very attractive
- You can’t stop touching, caressing and kissing each other
- You get butterflies in your stomach when you see and think about each other
- You’re having lots of sex or can’t wait to start
Why is there no chemistry in a relationship?
You may have met a great guy or girl who seems to tick all the boxes, is physically attractive and whom your friends and family love, but you are just not feeling that spark or relationship chemistry. There are a couple of reasons why there is no chemistry in the relationship:
1. If you’ve had bad sexual experiences or have been badly hurt in past relationships, you may find it hard to trust anyone. You could be so scared of getting hurt again that you are not allowing yourself to open up and feel any physical attraction. This is your body’s way of protecting you. If this sounds like you, consider getting some counseling to help you through this. If you’ve had counseling and you’re still not letting go with someone who is trusting and has been patient about you wanting to take things slow, then, you may need to take that first step and go for an intimate kiss and see how it makes you feel.
2. You may be in the friend zone and no amount of trying can take you both to the level of boyfriend and girlfriend. If you’re in the friend zone it means that you’re coming across as a nice person and a good companion and someone the other person wants to spend time with but not sleep with. So you need to act in a way which makes you come across as more sexually attractive.
3. Relationship chemistry is not possible to fake. It can be really infuriating when you meet a great guy or girl who ticks all your boxes, shares interests, values and beliefs but who you just don’t feel that spark with. Some people stay in these type of relationships but if you value passion and the physical side of a relationship then you will end up feeling frustrated and eventually resentful if there is no relationship chemistry. Some couples are very happy in arranged marriages but they will have decided that there are more important elements in a relationship than physical attraction.
What if there is nothing but chemistry in a relationship
If you are spending all of and every date in each others’ beds, then there probably isn’t much more to your relationship than chemistry. Chemistry alone will not sustain a relationship. There are five key ingredients needed to ensure a healthy relationship:
- Common Goals
Couples who appear happy usually share all five ingredients. Relationships can be successful if only three out of the five ingredients are present. However, a relationship will not stand the test of time if only one of the key ingredients is present, for example, chemistry.
Relationship chemistry can be the glue which keeps a couple together through difficult times and be that magic that keeps the relationship from going stale. Chemistry in a relationship without one of the other five key ingredients will not sustain the relationship in the long-term.