The love stories below are all from clients who I have coached
or have attended my workshop.
I first started working with Caroline 3 years ago when I coached her around ending a 17-year relationship with a commitment-phobe. After helping Caroline understand her values and create a 10-year vision, she realised that this relationship was never going to make her happy and despite the scary prospect of getting back on the dating scene at the age of 55, she did just that.
I coached Caroline to help her get over her previous relationship and create a dating strategy which included online dating. Caroline initially felt very shy about online dating but soon got the hang of it after receiving positive responses to her photo and profile. She did, however, receive her fair share of disappointments and heart ache after dating a couple of men who she liked and thought were a good match. I always say that if something isn’t working, try something different, so Caroline abandoned Dating Direct and signed up with E-Harmony where she liked most of the matches she was given and lined up five different dates. One of the five dates was Rob.
Rob knew within ten minutes of meeting Caroline that he wanted to have a serious relationship with her. He was so sure of this that within a week he introduced Caroline to his family and oldest friends. Caroline felt very reassured by Rob’s openness and honesty and within a month introduced him to her teenage children. Caroline and Rob’s relationship has gone from strength to strength; they have just celebrated their 1-year anniversary and are about to embark on a trip around the world with Caroline’s children.
Caroline wrote and told me, “When I looked at the list you helped me compile of qualities I was looking for in a man he ticks every box. Without all your wonderful advice, I may have missed Rob and made the same mistakes I had in the past.”
Caroline gives this advice, “To those still waiting for a Rob to enter their lives I would say keep positive; stay true to your values and be sure about what you are looking for in a partner. I have discovered that a relationship shouldn’t be hard work, it’s the easiest thing in the world to be with someone who shares your values and long-term objectives. If you harbour any niggling doubts, it is probably because the person isn’t the right one. Don’t settle for second best.”
I first met Nathalie when she came to one of my workshops in April 2009. She then decided to have some coaching with me. Nathalie was driven, successful and in her late 30’s and had no problems getting dates or forming relationships. Her relationships, however, were never quite right and the men that she attracted didn’t give her first place in their lives and were not willing to commit. She could feel her body clock ticking and wanted to settle down, get married and have children. I worked with Nathalie to help her improve her self-esteem so that she could attract the man she deserved. Nathalie was doing well and had built her confidence up but she admitted to me that there was one thought which kept going round in her head, “I’m going to end up with the wrong guy or single for the rest of my life.” She knew that she had to overcome this belief in order to reach her goal of getting married and having children. I helped Nathalie to realise that her limiting belief was protecting her from getting hurt and stopping her from experiencing the pain of previous relationships. Nathalie had a breakthrough when I pointed out that she was putting more energy into avoiding pain than in attracting pleasure (getting married and having children). From this point on Nathalie realised that logically she had to put more energy into the pleasure she so wanted. She started to feel happier in herself and dating more suitable men.
Towards the end of 2009 Nathalie met Paul at a networking event, who was completely different from her previous boyfriends. At first Nathalie was slightly concerned that Paul was a few years younger than her but soon got over this when she saw how devoted Paul was to her. The best thing about Paul, says Nathalie is that he is protective, considerate and appreciates everything about me and everything I do. Nathalie and Paul are in a committed relationship and planning their future together.
I attended your workshop and found it a most uplifting and enjoyable day. It gave me the courage not to settle for second best. For the past 10 years, since my last long-term relationship, I had had a few relationships. Your workshop made me realise that they were all destined to fail for various reasons and wish that I had previously had the insight to move on sooner.
I had been on dating websites on and off for several years and then one day Bill’s picture popped up. He had such nice eyes and his profile was witty and genuine. We began emailing daily and with every message I became increasingly excited and convinced that I had found someone very special. We met for lunch two weeks later and then a couple of days later drove to France for New Year. We both felt as if we had always been friends, we just hadn’t met yet.
I know that I have found my soul mate and that we will be together indefinitely.
After a year and a half we are still completely besotted with each other and as happy as ever.
Bill is actually even more wonderful than I first realized!
I always thought that this kind of thing happened to other people and not me, but it did, at 51 years old.
SIMON AND JANE’S STORY
I was on the last Spice Birmingham Meet Your Soulmate workshop at Lea Marston in January. I was the loud cocky one, (for which I apologise – it’s a defensive thing, I think!) And I was sceptical, that day, which is another barrier, and absolutely terrified of the concept of ‘dating’.
Anyway, the reason I’m writing now is to let you know that I’ve met my Soulmate since that day and the most remarkable thing is that she was there, same room, same day, looking for me! I never got to speak to Jane that day, and it’s a running joke with us that I don’t even clearly remember her; but we missed each other at another Spice event and then finally, finally met at a third event where we gelled immediately. I literally did a double take at her because I couldn’t believe my luck that we had so much in common and understood each other so completely in one evening. It really was as if we had known each other for years and we both knew then that this is what you had been talking about. A Soulmate. We’ve been together for over a month now and seem to have skipped the ‘dating’ and gone straight to the ‘domestic harmony’ because there has never been any awkward ‘getting to know you’ moments. I love her to bits and never want to lose her which isn’t something I’ve ever felt before.
And the moral of the story is – make sure everyone on your workshops talks to everyone else because there’s a good chance there’s someone in the room looking for exactly you.
Thank you ‘Auntie’ Candy
Simon & Jane
I know you probably have so many people you work with, but I really wanted to email you to encourage you. You worked with me last summer. I did your “How to meet you soul mate” workshop on a Spice event. Then I had four telephone sessions with you. I had about 6 months of being On Match.com and went on a few dates which were ok but did not really do that much for me. But then I met this most wonderful man and I know from the work that we did together that he is the one! He fits all the criteria and makes me feel so very happy.
However, I would never have recognised him if it hadn’t been for the work that we had done together. He is so very different from what I would have normally found attractive (which is probably why I have been single for so long!) I read the letter you asked me to write to my imaginary soul mate and shared it with him today. I really cannot believe that I would ever find someone who could tick all those boxes.
Then we went away last weekend and he proposed to me. Things just get better and better.
Thank you so much for your input. I must admit it seemed a lot to pay out at the time but this has been so worth it. Keep up the good work
Lots of love from a very happy
Thank you for your newsletter.
I have good news. I met my new partner Martin over a year ago at a retreat and we both went to the same retreat again in October. We got together as a couple then and we have been together ever since. He’s now moving in with me! I read my list from your first workshop the other week and he ticked most of the boxes, with the exception of owns his own flat and is earning at least the same as I am. But he has ticked the spirituality box, the warm and loving and intimate box, and the is comfortable with himself box. He also fitted the 27-33 years old box – yes he’s four years younger than me! Do you remember the conversation we had about men my age (37) not being right for me and wanting to have children. Matt wants marriage and children even though he’s only 33. So I’m very, very happy and I just wanted to say thank you for two wonderful workshops. I wish you every success in your business 🙂 Renee x
Before coming on my workshop, Victoria was having a tough time, surrounded by couples with children and feeling a failure for not having met anyone. She had a healthy social life but kept meeting the wrong type of men.
The Meet Your Soulmate Workshop taught Victoria 5 important lessons:
• She wasn’t the only person feeling singled out
• She needed to value and respect herself before she could expect a partner to respect her
• To let go or her idea of a perfect man and make some compromises
• To let go of superficial barriers such as height and hair colour
• To open up and start listening to friends
Victoria met her fiancee through mutual friends and the couple took it slowly for four months until they both admitted that they liked each other, their friendship then progressed to something more serious.
It’s no surprise to me that Andrew is quite different from Victoria’s previous partners. Firstly, he is almost 10 years her senior and has already had children. The age difference was initially a compromise for Victoria but she actually has no problem with it at all. Victoria’s other boyfriends worked in offices whereas Andrew works outdoors and is much more active and masculine. The best thing about Andrew is that he accepts and loves Victoria for who she is and they have an equal partnership.
Victoria knows that Andrew is the one because of the small things like the fact that he can instantly make her feel better after a bad day of work with a welcoming hug.
JANE AND PAUL’S STORY
I coached Jane over a period of time and she came to one of my workshops. Jane really wanted to meet someone to share the rest of her life with and felt like her life was on hold since a lot of her plans involved being in a happy partnership. She also believed that she was a failure at 44 for not having met anyone when everyone around her was either getting married or having children.
After many years of Internet dating Jane was encouraged by colleagues to give Loveandfriends a go and started communicating with Paul whose creative, well-worded profile she really liked.
When Jane went back online and met Paul she was feeling pretty positive about Internet dating since she was meeting and hearing about more and more people who had met their life partners that way. She took a much more relaxed and excited approach than a year earlier when she had become tired and fed up with online dating. Jane wrote and rewrote her profile and uploaded three flattering and happy-looking photos. Jane says, “Having seen a lot of Internet profiles, I can’t underestimate how important it is to come across as positive and content and to show that you are serious about meeting someone by writing a thoughtful and well-written profile with no spelling mistakes or typos.”
Paul is different from Jane’s previous partners since they liked doing similar things, are close to each others’ families and have a similar attitude towards money and material possessions and they both have a cat!
Jane realised that Paul was the one for her when she took him to meet her family and they all got on really well. For Paul he realised that Jane was his perfect match when they were walking in the mountains together and he realised that he was in love.
Jane was keen not to paint an unrealistic picture and says, “I
don’t want my story to read like an unobtainable fairy tale; we still have our moments like most couples and we have some differences but work through our challenges and are stronger because of them.”
Megan came to one of my workshops and then continued to have coaching with me over a 9-month period. When I first met 40-something Megan, I was struck by her youthfulness and elegant dress style. On top of this, Megan was a highly intelligent and well-trained doctor with very good social skills and a wide circle of friends and interests.
Megan sought my guidance to help her improve the relationship area of her life, which had been lacking for many years. She had a history of failed and destructive relationships and was extremely sceptical as to how I could help her. In our coaching we identified why Megan had repeated destructive relationship patterns and helped her let go of the past. We continued with smashing Megan’s negative beliefs. Just as we were ready to start writing Megan’s online profile and signing her up for internet dating, a new neighbour moved in next door to her.
This neighbour was a tall, single man in his 50s but not at all Megan’s type. Within a few weeks, the male neighbour got to know Megan and started to show his affection with caring and protective acts of service, including driving her to work when her car broke down, keeping an eye on the house while Megan went away and fixing her dripping tap. After a while, he made his feelings clear to Megan and how attractive he found her but remained an absolute gentleman. Megan was lapping up the attention, felt her self-esteem soaring and started to truly enjoy her neighbour’s company, still insisting that he wasn’t her type. With some encouragement from myself and friends, she came to realise that her male neighbor was everything that she had asked for in a man and could make her very happy and she embarked on a committed relationship with him. Megan admits that she wouldn’t have given her neighbor a second look if she hadn’t smashed her destructive relationship patterns and negative beliefs. They are now engaged to get married next year.
MICHELLE AND PETE’S STORY
Michelle came to one of my first ever workshops and was feeling despondent after having been online dating for so long.
Then, she met Pete. Michelle and Pete were on the Dating Direct website for about a year before meeting. They had very clear ideas about what they wanted in a partner. Michelle wanted someone who valued trust, honesty and openness and had a warm and caring nature. Pete was looking for care, honesty and sincerity. Michelle was hooked by this line in Pete’s profile: “To be completely honest I just want to fall head over heels in love with someone.” Pete loved Michelle’s bubbly, go-getter profile and was attracted to her looks.
It was Pete who originally emailed Michelle and asked for her phone number but he could never catch her in. He then sent an email to Michelle with the name of someone else on it. Michelle was really put off and thought Pete was a bit of a player. About a year later, Michelle went back online after a brief relationship and got a message from Pete saying, “Still single?” Michelle didn’t realise who it was until they swapped personal emails and she recognised the email address. At this point, she had really fallen for Pete as he had been so funny and engaging. He asked, “Are you going to make me jump through hoops again or do I get your
phone number?” Michelle gave it to him and he rang that night.
A week after their initial phone conversation and at the end of an hour and a half telephone conversation, Michelle and Pete set up their first date. Pete took Michelle on a romantic date at a restaurant on the banks of the River Trent. They both felt the chemistry and Pete managed to steal his first kiss.
After their first date, Michelle and Pete continued to text and phone on a daily basis and saw each other two to three times a week. After a month and a half they decided to go on holiday together. This was a real turning point and each night they got closer through long heartfelt chats on the balcony of their apartment. They realised that there was no problem spending time in each other’s company and managed to resolve any issues quickly with open communication. A week after they came back from holiday and two months after their initial email, Pete proposed and made Michelle the happiest girl in the world!
They knew from the beginning that they were both what they were looking for in a lifelong partner. They were very honest and upfront about what they wanted and felt. Michelle knew that Pete was the one when he wrote a poem for her beginning, “How can it be after only two dates, I feel in my heart we could be lifelong soul mates.”
Michelle and Pete are now happily married. When Michelle emailed me her story I couldn’t stop smiling and as I wrote this I felt such warmth in my heart. It really proves that a soul mate is out there and to keep looking and not give up! It also shows that when you get clear about what you want, that person will come to you.