Many couples make the mistake of thinking that how to keep a relationship alive is with grand gestures such as weekends away, expensive dinners out, far flung holidays or lavish gifts. All of these are short-term fixes and may not be possible if you have children or can’t afford to splash out in this way. The best way to keep a relationship strong is to get back to basics.
The “Big C”
Connection is the “Big C” of relationships and without it there are no sparks.
What men need
Men need the two A’s – acknowledgement and appreciation. They don’t necessarily ask for these but really do need them.
Men especially like to be acknowledged for their career and practical accomplishments such as cooking, DIY and coming up with solutions. You may think that your man taking out the rubbish is something he should do without praise but actually he would like to be appreciated for the little things he does. Men also like to be appreciated for the manly things they do rather than berated for the feminine things they don’t do such as show their feelings or chat for hours.
What women need
Women need the two C’s – to be cherished and complimented. A way to a woman’s heart is through her ears. It is vital that a woman regularly hears how much you love her, how great she looks and what a wonderful mother and great lover she is. She will feel more connected to you when you compliment her, and this in turn, will keep your relationship alive.
Women also need to feel cherished, this means feeling special and adored. As a man you can do this with thoughtful texts and emails, flowers, an act of service such as putting up pictures which you’ve been promising to do for months, or cooking her a special meal.
Once both parties are feeling acknowledged and appreciated and cherished and complimented, the connection will have been rekindled and it will be much easier to keep the relationship going and sparks flying.
Keeping sparks flying
When I think of spark, I think of that chemistry and electricity you feel at the beginning of a relationship that sends shivers down your spine, which makes you pine for your partner when you are away from them, that makes you want to talk and think about them relentlessly and ravish them at the slightest opportunity. Obviously, these behaviours are not sustainable because we need space and time for other things in our life like work, children, friends, family and other interests, but rekindling some of that spark as our relationship progresses makes us feel excited, loved, stops us from getting complacent and going elsewhere and keeps a relationship alive.